By Conor O’Neill
Photography courtesy of Emma Dawson
The last Christmas review of 2025, and in my mind the Bright Umbrella theatre company delivers the best piece of festive fun I’ve watched this side of the big day itself. How often is the case that these wee theatre companies and small venues offer up such tucked away jewels? If memory serves, I last saw this play way back in the Grand Opera House in the mid-20-teens when writing for Culture Hub magazine – RIP.
Not much has changed to the main plot, but there’s obviously been a rewrite or two by Ballymurphy playwright, Brenda Murphy. This is as tight as a Lambeg drum. There’s less time between the gags, the characters are more rounded than first time round: in short, in 10 or so years, this play has stripped a good half hour off its running time, throws more jabs, executes more kidney-digs and swings bigger hay-makers than previous runs.
*Brian Markey as Joe, Jade O’Neill as Madison, Mary McGurk as Patsy and Michelle Wiggins as Sally*
The plot is fairly easy to follow: willing ‘sperm donor’ Joe turns up looking to be more than a walking turkey-baster in a small cottage on the Dundrod foothills of Belfast’s Black mountain. He knew the deal: eight-and-a half-month-preggers Patsy wanted nothing more than fertilisation. But he’s here in six inches of snow, four miles away from the main road and knocking on ‘windies’ like a ‘Ballymurphy Heathcliff’ with a bag in tow for the hospital.
Joe doesn’t know what he’s entered. Shot down at almost every turn, he finds himself surrounded by circling sharks deeming to weaken his world view on sexuality, male privilege and small-town, myopic, misogynistic right-of-way shackles which belong on a different planet. Joe’s surrounded by sassy, educated and delightfully overbearing group of women who soundly puts him in his place and drastically changes him for the better.
The set is simple: a couch, a few Christmas decorations and exits stage right and left; no fancy lighting, no unneeded flashy bits, just a good story expertly told. Director Michael Quinn’s job must’ve seemed a breeze, but with a script as fast and tight as this, and a cast of synergy-bursting actors, I imagine rehearsals was like herding cats. The pace is frantic, one scene is rapidly followed by the next; laughs are never more than a breath away. Exposition is the name of the game in the first act, and with it each character is humanised, embellished and grow like a snowball turning into an avalanche. With well thought through characters, quick-fire dialogue and many remarkable and memorable scenes the minutes simply fly by. Murphy’s pen brings laughs, introspection and characters as real, funny and touching as you could wish for.
The second act introduces us to Freudian Oedipus complex issues, the Greeks entering the EU, Shane MacGowan’s teeth, Irish boys’ love for their mothers, Hammer Horror meets the Waltons, menstrual-cycle painkillers, snow fights, IVF and moments of sincerely felt loss. Add a revelation that turns the plot on its head, division, reconciliation, an emergency helicopter, linguistic mishaps with an A & E phone operator and a questionable outcome and things fizz along nicely. All four actors play their parts brilliantly and with a verve that’s astounding.
This play will entertain you, split your sides and question your views on gender roles and sexuality. It pecks you on the cheek then tugs your bollocks off. Most of all it’ll make you laugh out loud, and what’s more festive than walking down the side streets of east Belfast with a warm fluffy feeling glowing from every pore?
The Sanctuary theatre only seats 120 bums, make sure yours is one of them.
The play runs up to and including January 4th. For booking details and show times visit http://www.brightumbrella.co.uk
ENDS
CultureCrush NI 